When a child comes outWhen a child comes out, parents have different reactions. Some celebrate it. For most, there is some stress, fear, or grief. How we deal with out feelings can make a huge difference for us and for our families.

I’m not an expert or a therapist. I am the mother of a gay son and I know how I dealt with those feelings and reactions. Here are some thing you can do.

Find a support group. PFLAG has chapters all around the U.S. and in Canada. Many LGBTQ centers have support groups and may have one for parents. If not, ask them to start one. There are many online support groups on Facebook. Click the link or search for parents of LGBTQ kids.

Talk to a supportive friend. The key here is supportive. It doesn’t have to be someone who has an LGBTQ child, but one who loves you, will listen and will not try to fix it or change it.

Learn to meditate. We all have busy lives, but meditation is an amazing tool and the time it takes in your day is worth it. And it doesn’t have to take a lot of time. There are applications for your smart phone or tablet that offer free meditation. The one I like best is Insight Timer but there are many. If you don’t have a smart phone or tablet, search on YouTube or just do a Google Search for meditation or mediation to ease anxiety, fear or stress.

Be gentle with yourself. What you are feeling is okay and part of the journey. Know that you won’t feel like this forever. Accept it for today. My experience tells me that nothing in my life will change until I first accept it. 

Know that you will be okay. Your child will be okay too. Your only job is to love them, accept them and support them. If you don’t feel acceptance just yet, that’s okay. It will come. Take care of yourself. You deserve it!

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