Funny tweets

I thought you all might enjoy a laugh this week. I found an article on the Huffington Post about some of the funny tweets parents left on Twitter last week. Hope they give you a smile!

“I am dad, hear me sigh loudly as I turn off every light in the house. Again.”

“When someone rings the doorbell I say to my kids, ‘I think it’s Santa Clause!’ so I don’t have to get up.”

“Not a parent: Toddler jumps out of the closet, waving deodorant, and terrifies you. Parent: Takes deodorant from toddler and puts some on.”

“In honor of her 100th day of school, I just had to tell Anna to get to bed 100 times.”

“The thing is you could never know how easy one child is until you have two.”

“Not sure I want to know why there’s only one pair of the kid’s underwear in four days worth of laundry…”

“Having my 3 year old drive his toy monster truck around on my back for 14 seconds is as close as I get to having a ‘spa day.’”

“My 9 year old has been misusing the word ‘literally’ all day long. Like, he’s literally misused it 50,000 times.”

“The original scripture said ‘It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it is for a 7 year old boy to do 1 hour of homework.’”

“Accidentally played dad instead of dead when I encountered a bear and now it can ride a bike without training wheels.”

“I just ran away screaming ‘DON’T TOUCH ME’ from my kid next to me on the couch because I’m good at parenting and acting like an adult.”

“If you like Piña Coladas & often get caught in the rain, you’re probably a parent.”

“We’re at the part of the day that I like to call ‘The Get It your Freakin’ Self’ hour.”

“My two daughters have yet to scratch each other’s face in unrestrained anger and as a spectator I’m so bored.”

How many did you relate to!!

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