I attended a Women’s Retreat this past week. The retreat is organized and led by two amazing women from Productive Learning. The topic was our relationship to food but it really just used that as a vehicle to connect with whatever what going on and needed addressing.
I thought it was a great topic for me as I’ve had issues with food my entire life. What I learned was not so much related to food but to me and how I’ve used food to silence my real hunger.
I’ve longed my entire life for connection. I want a heart connection with people and it seems to elude me so much of the time. What I discovered was that I was running away from a connection with me – a heart connection to myself. I think connecting to others was just another way of avoiding connecting to myself.
Connecting to myself means really feeling what I’m feeling, good and bad. It means allowing myself to experience it without judgement. It’s not about good feelings and bad feelings; it’s just about feeling them whatever they are.
One of the things I do with parents of LGBTQ kids is give them permission to feel however they feel without judgement. I love them right where they are. And I wasn’t doing that for myself.
There won’t be a miraculous change because I know change happens over time. My intention is to stop when I see a circumstance that I know I uses to avoid feelings. Stop and let myself just be in whatever the feeling is, without judgement and with love for myself just where I am.