I’ve been watching The Fosters, a new show with two moms, 1 biological son and 4 adopted or foster kids. I love all the diversity in it. The moms are interracial, two of the kids are Hispanic and of course, you have lesbian moms!
One of the moms has been interacting with her father who hasn’t exactly been a pillar of acceptance. He clearly loves his daughter and tries but no matter how much he tries, it is never enough for her. For example and I paraphrase, “If you can’t support me 100%, I don’t want you at our wedding.” He doesn’t attend and she berates him in a later show for not coming. He tries to make up for it by giving them a new car as a wedding present, knowing that one of their cars has broken down and they need a second car. She won’t accept it.
As I was watching this, I turned to my husband and said, “She needs my help!” If she could start with acknowledging that he is trying and give him credit for that, it would give him some space to continue to move forward. He is trying to open his mind but she gives him no credit for that. As an outsider I watch and see that he loves her and is trying. All she sees is that he doesn’t embrace all she is 100%. For some it takes a lot longer than others but for the parents who are trying, let’s give them credit for that and encourage them to keep learning, keep trying, keep opening their minds and hearts Change will come.
If you’re a parent who wants to change or a child who wants to better understand, contact me and let’s talk about it.
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