I recently read an article in the Huffington Post about a man who rejected his father. It got me thinking. I often talk about how parents reject their children when they come out as LGBT or have a difficult time accepting them. In this case, the child (now an adult) had a difficult time accepting his father and his father’s reaction to having a gay son.
Feeling the pain of not being accepted
As a young man, he decided to cut off communication with his father. That lasted for 18 years. After that the contact was sporadic. Upon his father’s death, he learned that his father did not include him in his will and was quite hurt.
I understand the hurt he felt on learning that his father disinherited him. It made me think about the work I’m doing. What if, when he was young, he and his father had an opportunity to look at each other’s concerns from a different perspective? What if the young man gave the father some space and time to work through his concerns and what if the father worked with someone about those concerns so that he could come to a place of understanding and acceptance?
Of course, the father would have to want to build a bridge to acceptance and understanding. Sadly, this is not always the case. I don’t know if this father wanted to love and accept his child as he is. I don’t know if the child had a desire to love and accept his father as he was. When there is a strong foundation of love, it is enough to build a bridge to acceptance and understanding.
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