For some parents, having “the talk” with their children is something they dread. They just aren’t comfortable talking about sex period. For them, it doesn’t matter whether their child is gay, straight or transgender. They just don’t want to do it.
Other parents are perfectly comfortable talking to their straight, cisgender kids about sex. They’ll talk about anything and everything, sometimes to their kid’s embarrassment! “Ok, Mom & Day, I got it. Can we talk about something else?”
Even for those parents, talking about sex with a gay or transgender child is daunting. How do you talk about something you know nothing about and have not experienced? What do you say? Why should they even listen to you?
This is probably one of the most important conversations you can have with your LGBTQ child. By the time my son came out, he was already 20. He hardly needed me to talk to him about sex. And I did know that safe sex was different for a gay man and I knew nothing about it. It was the time when men were dying by the scores from AIDS. I didn’t know what to say but I knew where he could get the information he needed and I told him to visit the local LGB center and find out how to prevent AIDS. He did just that and soon thereafter started visiting the gay bars in West Hollywood to educate other men about how to prevent AIDS.
If your kids are still at home and you haven’t yet talked to them about sex, it’s time. First, do your research. Planned Parenthood has a great page on their website about safe sex for the LGBTQ community.
Here are some websites you can take a look at and learn from.
Talking to your LGBTQ child about sex doesn’t need to be embarrassing. It’s a natural part of life and being LGBTQ doesn’t exclude the need and desire to express love in a sexual way. Depending on the age of your child, you can do some of this research and learn together. Nothing wrong with saying I don’t know about this. Let’s learn together.