Today is the day I sit down to write my blog. I’ve been sitting her trying to think of what to write for quite some time now. It seems I’ve written on every topic there is, or at least I can think of, about being the parent of an LGBTQ child. Is there anything new under the sun?
You probably already know that I have a gay son, a mature adult man. He’s been out for almost 30 years. When he first came out, he was 20 years old, living on his own 450 miles away from me. As his mom, I still worried about him even though technically he was an adult. There was nothing I could do at that point to keep him safe. That didn’t stop me from giving him advice about how to stay safe! Turns out he didn’t really need my advice. What a surprise!
It is different parenting an LGBTQ child who is an adult. When our kids are at home and still in school, there is much we can do to educate them about safety, bullying, safe sex, etc. We can advocate for them at school and in our communities. Then they grow up and go out on their own. We have to hope we taught them what they needed to know.
Most of the parents of LGBTQ kids I know have definitely done that. They have taught them and loved them and protected them. When they go out on their own, they still worry. I think it’s just part of being a parent.
What I’ve found is that over the years, I worry less and less. Experience has taught me that my son is completely capable of taking care of himself in any situation. He knows how to keep himself safe. He knows what situations to avoid. He doesn’t need me for that anymore and hasn’t in a very long time.
Now that I live close to him again, I’m impressed by the man he’s become. I was impressed before but seeing him in his everyday life has me even more impressed. And I’m still a mom. I still sometimes worry but not very often. He’s very public about his advocacy work on behalf of the LGBTQ community, especially the transgender community. Sometimes I worry that will make him a target. When I start to worry, I turn in over, I let it go. I know he’s being taken care of and takes care of himself.
He has become the man I always hoped he’d become. Maybe he learned a thing or two from his mom!