Ask a mom of an LGBTQ child when she feels frustrated and what that frustration is all about. For me, for years it was the fact that my son and his long-time partner could not marry. It never made sense to me and I was particularly frustrated that my other son could marry so easily just because he was marrying someone of the same gender as he. Today, at least in this country it is currently not an issue.
What frustrates me now is the many people who claim “religious freedom” to deny those legal rights to same-sex couples. And I’m afraid of the results of the laws being proposed or passed in so many states. What rights will they strip away from son just because he is gay? Will he and his husband be denied service or lodging when they travel? I’m not worried about him losing his job because he works for the most amazing, supportive company who stands up for all LGBTQ people and their rights. But I know there are many other moms who do worry about that and with good reason.
Far more personal, many moms get frustrated at the people in their lives telling them what they are doing or have done to make their child gay. Really? First of all, who asked you? It is none of your business. Secondly, who made you an expert? Okay, I’m frustrated at that too even though it is not happening in my life.
Another frustration is family members who feel they have the right to question you and/or your child. Or they just outright reject them. I think this creates more than frustration. For so many, it creates anger and grief. No mom should have to choose between her family and her child. The family will almost always lose.
Another frustration is bullying. Even though my son is well past the age of being bullied, I experience frustration every time I hear about a child being bullied for being gay or being perceived as gay. Truthfully, I feel frustrated and angry when a child is bullied for any reason – their weight, their acne, their glasses, how they dress, who their friends are. My frustration is at the bullies and my anger is at the teachers, administrators, parents who do not take this seriously and excuse it.
The feelings of frustration and fear and anger are common. What are you frustrated about? What do you do about it?