I remember when my kids were young, I worried about everything. I worried when he climbed on the playground equipment. What if he fell and hurt himself? I worried about someone kidnapping them or killing them.
I don’t think that’s too unusual. It’s normal for a mom to worry about her child, even when they are not children anymore. Will they get a good job? Will they find the right partner to love and be loved. Will they find their way.
When you are the mom of an LGBTQ child, worry takes on a whole other meaning. We moms tend to worry most about our children’s safety, whether they are pre-teens, teens, young adults or adults. We worry about the hate they will face just for being who they are. We worry about someone harming them for who they are or who they love. We worry about them getting and keeping a job if they are out on the job. We worry about them finding someone special to love because they are gay or transgender. We worry about bullying – in school, on the job, in public.
And what can we do about all those worries? It’s not like we can just turn it off. We teach our kids to be aware of their surroundings. Sometimes we teach them to hide who they are in public. We don’t worry about our straight, cisgender child being harassed for holding hands with their significant other so we don’t ever tell them not to. But our gay or trans child? We might tell them to be careful about that in public. It’s not the message we want to give but we worry.
My experience is that the worry lessened considerably as my gay son got older. I trust him to take care of himself and not put himself in dangerous situations. He’s 49 years old and he’s made it this far and I know it’s not my worry that has gotten him to where he is!
What do you worry about? What do you do to ease the worry?