If you’ve been reading my blog, you know that my husband and I moved across the country on December 31st. We were both raised in California and thought we’d live there the rest of our lives. Then one son moved to Florida and the other to North Carolina. So here I am, in my new home, in North Carolina. It doesn’t quite feel real to me yet. I’m adjusting to a new normal, albeit slowly.
This reminds me of when my son came out as gay. I knew he was gay, but I didn’t want to believe it. It was not what I hoped for I have to say. When he came out I was not surprised. But in that moment, my world shifted. I knew I would have to adjust to a new normal. I would have to let go of my vision for what his life would be like and cherish what was in each and every moment. It didn’t take me too long I’m happy to say. And of course, that was 29 years ago this month. I’ve been cherishing and celebrating this “new normal” for many years.
As of today, I’ve lived in this new house in this new state for a mere three days. I can hardly expect myself to be adjusted all ready. I have noticed that each day it feels a little more normal to live here. I don’t quite feel like I live in CA and I don’t quite feel like I live in North Carolina. It’s a bit unsettling. When my son first came out, I felt a bit unsettled too. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. Over the years I’ve learned that what I expect has no meaning anyway. Both my sons have created their lives in the ways that make them happy. And isn’t that what I wanted all along? It is for sure. It may not have happened the way I envisioned it but the results were the same. They are both in long term relationships and are both happy and productive men, giving back to their communities in many ways that make me so proud as a mother.
In time, this life will become my new normal, living in North Carolina, creating new communities, making friends, hopefully making a positive impact. In the meantime, I’m adjusting to a new normal.