One cannot overstate the importance of love when you are the parent of an LGBTQ child. No matter what your initial reaction when your child first comes out as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, connecting to the love you have in your heart for your child will make all the difference – for you and for your child.
I’ve often said that I’ll never understand a parent who rejects their child and kicks them out of the house for the sole reason they are LGBTQ. Where is the love in that? Why is that parent unable to connect to the love they have/had for their child? Maybe that love was never there in the way it is meant to be.
I know a parent is supposed to love their child unconditionally. I’m sure there are many parents who feel that way. And when we have visions and ideas of what our child’s live will be like, those are conditions. When my first thought was about the grandchildren I’ll never have, those were conditions. It wasn’t that I would only love my son if he produced grandchildren for me, but I don’t think that is what is meant by unconditional love. I know what it feels like to receive conditional love. That is not the love I want to express to my children or grandchildren.
We are human for sure. It is common for a parent to grieve when finding out their child is LGBTQ. It doesn’t mean they don’t love their child. It is a process many parents need to go through. There are common and natural fears a parent experiences when they find out their child is LGBTQ. I’m not saying these parents are bad or wrong for their feelings. I had all of them too! I think it’s important to embrace those feelings in order to overcome them.
What I am saying is to focus on the love in every dealing with your child. Whatever it takes, connect to that deep well of love before speaking, before interacting with your LGBTQ child. They will feel that. And that will help you process all the emotions and reactions you have. The importance of love is for your child but for you as well.