should i ask if my son is gayI suspected my son was gay from a very early age. When he was in High School I wondered “Should I ask my son if he is gay?” Then I thought, “I don’t want to put any ideas in his head.” Today that thought seems ludicrous! I know you can’t make someone gay by asking. They either are or they aren’t. Period.

If you suspect your son is gay, should you ask? It’s probably wise to let him comes to term with it first and come to you. What you do want to do is let him know you love him just as he is. Let him know you trust him. And you can let him know it’s okay to be gay by your everyday actions and conversations.

If you have gay friends, does he know? Do you socialize together? You can watch gay friendly movies or TV shows such as Modern Family or The Fosters and casually talk about it. Do you support marriage equality and LGBT rights? You can talk about that easily just by taking about what’s in the news during family discussions. You’re letting him know that you’re okay with his being gay by being okay with it in general.

Be available to him when he wants to talk about anything – school, friends, sports. You’re being there for him for all things lets him know you’ll be there when he’s ready to come out.

And when he does come out, hug him and tell you again that you love him no matter what, just the way he is.